Confessions…

Last night, I was able to talk to a very close friend of mine again over the phone. I’m so happy for her because finally she’s out of that complicated love triangle that she’s been rambling about for the past three weeks or so.

Well, during that time, I found myself falling in love with her. Although weird and unorthodox she may be, I still found so many things about her to fall in love with. The way she smirks. Her insanely loud laughter (annoying at times but lovable still).

I told her that I am falling in love with her than I’m happy that she’s already fallen in love with someone else.

I waited this long to tell her because I didn’t want to tell her. Yes, I’m a fucking martyr because I didn’t want to make things complicated for her.

I thanked her last night for opening up my heart again. After my last break up, I thought I won’t be able to truly love again.

As the song by Drop N Harmony goes…

“There was a time when I used to run away,
Everytime I started to fall, ’cause
Love’s never been very kind of me, no baby
Not very kind at all 

Until you, you stole my heart away
Somehow you helped restore my faith
For something I thought wasn’t for me
Now comes so easily, because I love you..” 

Random Ramblings..

Why does one think about what things could be like? You hardly know a person but you keep on having dreams about her. I don’t understand it. I CHOSE not to fall, and yet I do.

Karma

kar‧ma  /ˈkɑrmə/ Pronunciation Key - Show Spelled Pronunciation[kahr-muh] Pronunciation Key - Show IPA Pronunciation
–noun

I’m sure you’ve heard of this term. It’s either your parents, lola’t lolo. Friends who think you’ve done something that meris a return.

I’ve had a lot of karma (both good and bad) ever since I moved here in the condo and this morning seems to be top ranking bad karma.

Why so? Well, I was doing my grocery shopping yesterday with my cousin PJ and there’s one particular item that the cashier forgot to punch in. Realising it, we just didn’t mind it. I mean, it’s only Php200. Nevertheless, We went home and PJ had to meet the seller of his 1GB Ipod Shuffle that needs to be replaced. Lo and behold, there are not PUJs running along Buendia going to the LRT station. 

Secondly, we ordered drinking water from down stairs since we were all out. I cooked dinner and used our newly bought electric hot plate and fry pan (which costs a bundle by the way) and ate our dinner.

Nothing bad that right? Right… I woke up around 3am and read a couple of text messages I received after falling asleep. I was about to go back to sleep when I heard a loud crash in the kitchen (which is about 5 feet away from where I sleep). I realised that the 5 Gallon water dispenser crashed down to the floor. Water was every where! the entire kitchen floor, living area. I took a look at the bottom of the dispenser and seeing that the bottom bulked due to its own weight (It’s partially edged out so we can use the built-in faucet). 

Worst thing is not the 5 gallons of water which gave our kitchen an impromtu cleaning. It’s the cap that covers the top of the dispenser. I don’t know how much that’s gonna cost to get it replaced. I’m still not yet done drying up the place and I’m as hungry as a dog right now. I’ve been cleaning for the past hour and my hands hurt from squeezing the water out of the rags.  

Getting the rest of the week off…

I just have come to realize that I am getting the rest of my work week off.

I should be happy right? Nope… not one bit for the reason being that my Tito Eddie just passed away this week.

I am not particularly close to him but he is still family. I will be going to his wake tomorrow and also to his funeral this saturday afternoon.

“Tito Ed, sana masaya ka kung nasaan ka man. ‘yaan mo, anjan naman si Ate Mitz para alagaan ka at pasiyahin.”

Vaya con dios….  

Past, Present and Future…

Thinking back on the times I have taken for granted the special moments I’ve shared with someone. I couldn’t help but begin to regret that I did all those things. Or more correctly, things I didn’t do. If I could just go back and correct those mistakes… I would. To save you the pain and sorrow that I have caused you.

I looked for the tree where I carved our initials last night. And, just like you, it’s not longer there. A new foundation has been placed there. Something new has replaced that wonderful tree. I wish I took more time to notice the smaller things than dreaming up the future.

But past is past, I couldn’t never get it back. I lost the future I built when you said goodbye. All I have now is the present. What I have at this very moment is mine. No past, no future. Just now…

Denied….

Ever heard of the quote:

“It’s all over just before the match started…”

and that’s all I’ve got to say for that…

Took a long walk last night and I got to finally clear my head. I haven’t done that in a long, long while. Walking makes me sane. It calms my fears, anxiety, anger and, at times, even heartaches.

I know now what to do…

LONG WEEK…

Who ever said that a week is never too long… they deserve to be hung by their tits.

I just finished a 10 day week, almost 11,  and I am TIRED!!

I hope this sacrifice is going to be worth it. Good thing Ina was there to keep sane (well sort of…) during the closing stages of this long work week. Why did I do it?  for one thing, I want to earn more (300% of my normal pay last Nov 1st). Secondly, IT NONE OF YOU DAMN BUSINESS!!!

oh well, not much of an entry here… lates